Tom’s grandmother passed away this week. She was 87 years old. One of my first memories of her was at her 80th birthday party at McGeary’s. You gotta love that, celebrating your 80th at an Irish Bar.
Mema, as she was affectionately called by family, suffered a stroke a few years back. With physical therapy she was eventually able to live on her own again with daily visits from a combination of family and special services. One such frequent service was a hair appointment. A woman after my own heart.
Towards the end of her life she lived in a nursing home, which at first was a pleasant change as she had a new social network. She would shoo you out of her room so as not to miss dinner with her girlfriends. Then, unfortunately, trips to the hospital became more frequent and she was admitted to hospice last Thursday.
Living just blocks from the hospital Tom and I made a point to be present during her move to hospice. Like Mema’s 80th birthday, her move to hospice will also be something I will always remember. This is not meant to be a dark or somber comment but rather a remembrance of the care and comfort Mema received at the end of her long, hardworking and beautiful life. The staff, atmosphere, and care she received was second to none. For such an extremely difficult step to take in a loved ones life it was a step taken at exactly the right time. And I can see that now.
Mostly our presence during the transition to hospice was for Tom’s mom, Maureen. Maureen has been a primary caregiver for her mother since her stroke. Mema’s quality of life after her stroke was largely due to Maureen’s dedication to her mother. A responsibility which fell primarily on her shoulders as she was eventually the only local sibling. A difficult role at any stage of a daughter’s or son’s life, but one Maureen took on with great pride and respect.
Mema always had a smile for friends, family and visitors. She cared deeply for the people in her life as we cared deeply for her. It is with both sorrow and comfort to know that Mema passed peacefully and is now looking down at us with that same smile that always lit up a room.
We love you Mema. May you rest in peace.
Her obituary: Ross, Shirley R. ALBANY Shirley R. Ross, 87, of Albany died Monday, September 10, 2007 at the St. Peter’s Hospice Inn. She was born in Oswego on January 31, 1920, the daughter of the late Fred and Vida (Bareham) Payne and graduated from Oswego High School in 1938. She was employed for 24 years by the Hartford Insurance Co. and had previously been employed by New York State. Shirley was a longtime member of the Third Reformed Church where she was active in the May Group and sang in the choir. She is the wife of Michael Ross; mother of Marshall (the late Emily) Kennedy, the late Lawrence (Phyllis) Kennedy, Dale Jenkins and Maureen Morgan; sister of Mary (Ken) Barlow and June (Glyn) Forbes; nine grandchildren and nine great-grandchildren also survive. Relatives and friends are invited to call on Friday from 4 to 7 p.m at the Applebee Funeral Home, 403 Kenwood Ave., Delmar. A funeral service will be held at 6:30 p.m. Friday at the funeral home. Burial will be in Oswego at a later date. Those who wish may send a remembrance in her name to the St. Peter’s Hospice, 315 So. Manning Blvd, Albany, NY 12208.